We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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