I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
