YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
