Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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