i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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