I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
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He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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