there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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