so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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