She's JV to your varsity
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
