Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
