at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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