i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
