i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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