Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
