I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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