he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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