Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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