Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
