Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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