I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
should my penis look like a turkey
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
