either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
