you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
