Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
