under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
