I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
