Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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