You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
