my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
