I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
This girl is more easily done than said...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
