I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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