just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
