youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize