1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
