My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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