party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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