You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize