So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
