Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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