im six kinds of drunk right now
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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