you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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