i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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