I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
