Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
