As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
