Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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