Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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