This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
