Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
