my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
