even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
