She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
