You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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