I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
