She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
