my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
