tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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