She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Bring me that man meat
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize