What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
