HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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