its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
