Kiss
Puke
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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